Count the Times You Agreed but Didn't Mean It
A one-week log of times you went along with something at home, compared with what you'd say at work.
An Iroko Health tool, drawing on dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), which teaches practical skills for strong emotions and relationships.
What this can look like
In a meeting you'd say "I don't think that works." At home you nod, say "sure," and feel it later.
Why it happens
At work, disagreement has rules and an end point. At home, you can't walk away from the person, so conflict can feel riskier. Going along keeps things calm today. The cost shows up later as resentment, or as a blow-up over something unrelated.
How to use it
2 minutes a day for a week
Note each time this week you agreed to something at home you didn't agree with. For one of them, write what you would have said if it had happened at work.
Short on time? Count them. Just the number.
Afterwards, ask yourself
What makes it harder to say it at home than at work?
This tool is one small place to start. You might know what you want to change and still find it hard to do, or hard to put into words what comes up. That's normal. It's a big part of the work in counselling: getting to the bottom of what's happening, so it's easier to say and easier to change.
If this keeps happening
When the same thing keeps coming back, it's usually a pattern rather than a bad week. Understanding what sets it off, and practising a different response, is something we work on often in counselling.
This page is general information. It isn't a diagnosis or a replacement for therapy.
If you're thinking about ending your life or you're in crisis, call or text 9-8-8 in Canada, or call 911.
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