I'm not the type to sit and talk about my feelings. Is this going to work for me?

This work isn't about processing emotions for the sake of it. It's structured and practical, focused on understanding what's happening and what to do with it, not just talking about how you feel.

Will this turn me into someone who cries all the time?

No. The goal isn't to make you “more emotional”, it's to help you understand and work with what's already there. What you do with that is always your call.

I'm functioning fine. Is this actually necessary?

That depends on what functioning fine is costing you. If the gap between how you experience things internally and how you come across to others has been affecting things you care about, that's worth looking at regardless of how well you're managing everything else.

What if I come in and genuinely don't know what I'm feeling?

That's one of the most common starting points for this kind of work. Not knowing is a reasonable place to begin.

I'm worried this will make things harder in my relationships while we're doing it.

That's hard to predict and it depends on the person and the situation. It's worth bringing up in the intro call so we can talk through what the work might look like for you specifically.

Is this covered by extended health benefits?

Most extended health plans in BC cover sessions with a Registered Clinical Counsellor. Check your specific plan for the details.

How do I know if this is the right fit?

The free intro call is the most straightforward way to find out.

Emotional Walls · Vancouver, BC

People keep saying you're hard to reach. You're not sure what they mean.

Individual counselling for people who struggle to access or express what they're feeling.

In-person (Vancouver, BC) and virtual across BC.

Book a Free Intro Call How it works

Woman sitting alone at a table, seen through a rainy window

In-person in Downtown Vancouver and online across BC

Registered Clinical Counsellor

Psychology Today Verified

Free 20-minute virtual intro call

Something feels a little out of reach but you can't always put your finger on what it is. Your relationships are there but sometimes they don't feel as close as you'd like them to be and you're not always sure why. When people around you get emotional you don't always know what to do with that or how to meet them there.

It's not that you don't feel things. It's that somewhere between feeling them and knowing what to do with them something gets lost and over time that gap starts to show up in the connections that matter most to you.

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HOW WE WORK

The Iroko Approach

How we work together in therapy.

Understand, What is happening?

We begin with your experiences, concerns and what you would like to be different. We take time to understand you, your circumstances, and how the difficulty is affecting your life.

Connect, What is contributing?

Together, we explore the emotions, beliefs, experiences and behaviours that may be contributing to the problem. Often, this reveals connections you had not fully recognized.

Work Through, What needs attention?

Understanding is important, but it is not always enough. Using evidence informed clinical approaches, we work with what is contributing to your difficulties, whether that means processing painful experiences, addressing emotional patterns, challenging beliefs or developing new skills.

Apply, What can change in real life?

Where appropriate, we bring what you are learning into everyday life. We reflect on what happens, recognize progress, work through setbacks and adjust our approach as you develop new ways of responding.

Every person's experience is different. These stages guide our work rather than prescribe a fixed treatment schedule.

Some of this might sound familiar

If any of this resonates, you're in the right place.

Someone asks how you're feeling and your honest answer is you're not sure.

Someone close to you is upset and you don't know what to do so you do nothing.

You can see that a conversation needs something from you emotionally. You don't know how to give it.

You care about people but showing it doesn't come naturally.

People have told you you're hard to read. You didn't know that was a problem until it started affecting things.

You want closer relationships. You just don't know how to get there from where you are.

If any of that sounds like your experience, the pattern is usually running deeper than the specific relationship or situation it shows up in.

You, behind the walls

Most of what makes emotional expression difficult isn't a lack of feeling, it's a lack of familiarity with what feelings are, where they live, and what to do with them when they show up. That's not a character flaw. It's something that can be looked at directly. Here are some of the ways we work with that.

Learning to recognise what's actually there

Emotions don't always announce themselves clearly. For a lot of people they show up as tension, restlessness, withdrawal or a general sense that something is off. This work helps you slow down enough to notice what's actually happening and start putting language to it.

Where emotions live in the body

Before an emotion becomes a thought or a word it's already happening somewhere in the body. This work pays attention to that physical experience, not to analyse it but to use it as a starting point for understanding what's going on underneath.

What you're actually willing to do with it

Understanding your emotions is one thing. Deciding what to do with them in the moments that matter is another. This work looks at what you value in your relationships and your life and how your emotional experience connects to that.

Questions you might have

FIRST STEPS

Getting Started

New to counselling? Here is how it works.

Book a Free Virtual Intro Call

Start with a free 20-minute video call. Tell us a little about what is bringing you to counselling, ask questions, and get a sense of whether we are a good fit.

Your First Session

We will take time to understand what is happening in your life, what you would like help with, and what you hope to get from counselling. There is no pressure to have everything figured out before you arrive.

We Begin the Work

Together, we will establish what to focus on and how to approach it. Sessions are tailored to your needs, and we will regularly check in on your progress and adjust as needed.

Book a Free Intro Call

START HERE

When you're ready, the first step is a free 20-minute conversation.

It's a chance to talk through what's been coming up for you and get a sense of how I work. No commitment required.

First session is 80 minutes. Ongoing sessions are 50 minutes. Prices are $170 for 50 minutes and $230 for 80 minutes. Sessions are covered by many extended health plans that include a Registered Clinical Counsellor. Start with a free 20-minute virtual intro call.