People keep saying you're hard to reach. You're not sure what they mean.
Individual counselling for people who struggle to access or express what they're feeling.
In-person (Vancouver, BC) and virtual across BC.
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Something feels a little out of reach but you can't always put your finger on what it is. Your relationships are there but sometimes they don't feel as close as you'd like them to be and you're not always sure why. When people around you get emotional you don't always know what to do with that or how to meet them there.
It's not that you don't feel things. It's that somewhere between feeling them and knowing what to do with them something gets lost and over time that gap starts to show up in the connections that matter most to you.
Some of this might sound familiar
If any of this resonates, you're in the right place.
Someone asks how you're feeling and your honest answer is you're not sure.
Someone close to you is upset and you don't know what to do so you do nothing.
You can see that a conversation needs something from you emotionally. You don't know how to give it.
You care about people but showing it doesn't come naturally.
People have told you you're hard to read. You didn't know that was a problem until it started affecting things.
You want closer relationships. You just don't know how to get there from where you are.
How our work together unfolds
Every situation is different. This is generally how we move through it.
Understand your emotional experience
Before anything else we take time to look at how emotions actually show up for you, not how they should, but how they do. That's different for everyone and it's where the work starts.
Build the language for what you feel
A lot of people who struggle with emotional expression aren't feeling less, they just don't have the words for it yet. This part of the work focuses on developing that language so what's happening inside becomes easier to identify and work with.
Work with what you're learning in real situations
Understanding something in a session is different from knowing what to do with it when it actually comes up. This part of the work focuses on bringing what you're learning into your day to day life in a way that's practical and specific to you.
Want to find out if this is the right fit for your team?
You, behind the walls
Most of what makes emotional expression difficult isn't a lack of feeling, it's a lack of familiarity with what feelings are, where they live, and what to do with them when they show up. That's not a character flaw. It's something that can be looked at directly. Here are some of the ways we work with that.
Learning to recognise what's actually there
Emotions don't always announce themselves clearly. For a lot of people they show up as tension, restlessness, withdrawal or a general sense that something is off. This work helps you slow down enough to notice what's actually happening and start putting language to it.
Where emotions live in the body
Before an emotion becomes a thought or a word it's already happening somewhere in the body. This work pays attention to that physical experience, not to analyse it but to use it as a starting point for understanding what's going on underneath.
What you're actually willing to do with it
Understanding your emotions is one thing. Deciding what to do with them in the moments that matter is another. This work looks at what you value in your relationships and your life and how your emotional experience connects to that.
Questions you might have
When you're ready, the first step is a free 20-minute conversation.
It's a chance to talk through what's been coming up for you and get a sense of how I work. No commitment required.
Book Your Free Intro Session
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Iroko Health Counselling
Psychotherapy in Vancouver and across BC
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