Picture Things Getting Better
A reflection that turns "I want less of this" into a specific picture of what better looks like, then picks one piece to start.
Based on solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT). It builds on what's already working instead of only on what's wrong.
What this can look like
You can list what's wrong in detail. Ask what you want instead, and the answer is "less of this."
Why it happens
When you're under pressure, your attention goes to problems. That's useful at work. But "less stress" isn't something you can act on. A clear picture of what better looks like gives you something to move toward.
How to use it
20 minutes
Imagine you wake up tomorrow and things are better. Not perfect, just better enough to notice. Write it out in detail:
- What's the first thing you'd notice?
- What would you be doing that you aren't doing now?
- What would your partner, your kids or a close friend notice first?
- What would an ordinary weekday evening look like?
Be specific. "I'd be happier" doesn't count. "I'd ask her how her day went and actually listen" does.
Afterwards, ask yourself
Which small piece of this could you make happen this week?
This tool is one small place to start. You might know what you want to change and still find it hard to do, or hard to put into words what comes up. That's normal. It's a big part of the work in counselling: getting to the bottom of what's happening, so it's easier to say and easier to change.
If this keeps happening
When the same thing keeps coming back, it's usually a pattern rather than a bad week. Understanding what sets it off, and practising a different response, is something we work on often in counselling.
This page is general information. It isn't a diagnosis or a replacement for therapy.
If you're thinking about ending your life or you're in crisis, call or text 9-8-8 in Canada, or call 911.
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